Have you ever made a plan to do something like go for a run or make flash cards and then just don’t do it? Of course, you have; you’re human!

Why can’t we just make ourselves do things? Sometimes I wish I had a way to program myself to do things like a robot. But then I’d be a robot – not so fun.

There are lots of reasons we can’t just program “clean room at 8 am” into ourselves like a computer. Even with the best plans and tools, we sometimes still don’t clean the room. Nothing obvious got in the way. We didn’t have a surprise visitor or a minor emergency. We were there and able and just didn’t do it.

Picture the front of your brain, the part just behind your forehead. This is your frontal lobe. This is the part of your brain that is logical and responsible. It thinks about consequences and wants a secure future. This part of your brain does all of the executive skills like paying attention and remembering why you walked into the kitchen. This is the front office executive of your brain. This guy has a fancy desk and dresses well.

Then think about the back of your brain. This part is in control of the emotions and the desires and the “gut reactions.” Your back office monkey brain lives there. He couldn’t care less what he wears as long as it is comfy. If it’s not, naked is always a good option. Back office monkey brain likes to sit back with some ice cream and Cheetos and pick at his toes while he watches people do stupid things on TV. Back office monkey brain comes in many forms. Your monkey might get sucked into Facebook or go shopping or sleep until afternoon.

But not all monkey interests are bad. Your monkey keeps you safe by telling you to get away from danger. It is passionate and loving. It might love reading or making art.  And there’s nothing wrong with giving in to some full on slug time now and then. After all, your front office executive brain is a hard worker but does need a lot of breaks. In fact, there is evidence that mind-wandering may help our brains with tasks like creativity and goal-setting.

So back to those best-laid plans. At some point, the front office executive looks around and says, “my room is a disaster. We’ll clean this up tomorrow. I’m so excited about getting this done.” Meanwhile, back-office monkey brain is like, “Tomorrow? Sure, whatever.” Back office monkey brain lives in the here and now. As long as he’s happy and comfortable now, he doesn’t really care what front brain has planned for later.

The next morning when the time comes to get cleaning, front office brain says, “let’s do this!” Now Monkey brain starts noticing. He’s like, “Wait! We can totally do this later. We have soooo much time today. Let’s just watch one more show. It’s soooo comfy her in the couch. Cleaning sounds hard. Seriously, just one more show. Then, cross my heart, I’ll do it.”

If your monkey brain is loud enough and throws enough of a temper tantrum, front office brain eventually says, “Fine! Stop your yammering. We’ll watch one more.” We all know that one more ends up being two more and then three more. Eventually, your front office brain totally gives in.

When brains are in adolescence, the phone lines that connect the back office to the front office are flimsy. They work, but not reliably. And monkey brain actually has the ability to disable the phone line when things get really emotional. So there is, literally, no reasoning with someone when they are super emotional. Their monkey brain can shut the front office down.

But what about that messy room? Will it ever get cleaned?

There are a few tricks for taming the monkey brain.

• Think ahead. Remember how your monkey brain is a-okay with your plans as long as they aren’t now? You can use this to your advantage by planning a reward for doing the hard thing.
• Give monkey brain what he wants but only when you are doing something less pleasant.
  • listen to a great podcast while cleaning your room
  • watch that show you want to binge watch but only when you are on the treadmill
  • use your favorite new notebook and pens only when studying for biology

• Make the task something monkey brain won’t fight much. Tell monkey brain that you will only do the thing for 5 minutes. That’s not so bad, right? Five minutes will be done before you know it. Even your monkey brain can handle 5 minutes. The great thing about this taming trick is that monkey brain usually quiets down once the task is started. So you work for ten minutes. Then, if you feel like it, keep going for another ten. If not, you’re done. Try something else. But don’t give up on this one until you’ve tried it a few times.

• Throw the back office monkey brain a bone – or a banana-now and then just have fun. When your front office brain gets tired, it is more likely to give into your monkey brain. Give it breaks. If your studying, take a break every 30 minutes or so for about five minutes. Walk around, don’t think. Let the front office take a short snooze. Let monkey brain wander around the house. Stare at a cloud.  Have a drink of water. Stretch your legs. Just don’t give it a screen. Monkey brain won’t want to let go.

After a while, doing the hard thing will start to become a habit and you won’t need the rewards. But still, give yourself one occasionally because that monkey brain of yours is pretty adorable and a lot more fun to be around than a stuffy robot executive.